Last Friday I had a biopsy. I knew I had lumps for about 4 years. This year when I went in for my not-quite-annual check-up, I was referred for 2 mammograms. This past Friday, I had a biopsy.
I called the Texas Tech Univ Medical Center Thursday afternoon to confirm my Friday appointment and the procedure. Sure enough, a needle biopsy under local anesthesia. We arrived about 30 minutes early, giving us plenty of time to find a parking space and be shuttled to the opposite end of the hospital grounds. WAY ...too far to walk in 22 degree weather. The hospital was short a technician so I was escorted to another radiology lab in the hospital. Ten minutes later, I was escorted back to the first department because their radiologist finally arrived. To compensate me for my inconvenience, 2 - $5 Walgreens gift cards were placed in my palm. At that point, I thought this was turning out to be pretty good. I liked the idea they were paying me! After taking my vitals, a lady named Kathryn told to strip from the waist up. I was then shown into THE ROOM. I had to lay face down on a table, raised in the air to accommodate an average height doctor and 2 staff members. My left breast hung though a hole in the middle of the table. In my mind, I saw a pink icicle hanging down from a stainless steel roof with the outside temp of 22 degrees permeating THE ROOM. I was advised not to move or wiggle as they tugged and pulled at my breast; washing it and getting it into position for THE PROCEDURE. Shivering didn't count as movement. Once again, keep in mind I wasn't supposed to move. The nurse told me I was going to get a shot (don't recall what) to numb the area. I jumped! Practically off the table and onto the ceiling! OUCH!! All this time I had been praying, "God, let me be a good patient" and I had to go and ruin it all. The nurses went into a mild panic, exclaiming, "She jumped- a lot!" as the doctor reassured them from under the table, that my icicle (breast) hadn't moved so all was fine. An incision was made of just under a half inch and 5 samples of tissue were taken from the lump behind the nipple. A tiny piece of surgical steel was planted in their place as a marker for future reference. All this while the doctor discussed his new Porsche and the fact that my lump was very "fibrous and dense." I guess the Porshe news was good but as to the dense and fibrous, I have no idea. Within an hour my table had levitated back down to earth. I sat up and Kathryn held a wad of gauze to my breast. I told her I could sit there and do it but she said she had to do it for at least 5 minutes. As she stood and held the gauze, Dr. Murphy showed me a picture of the 5 samples. Those words, "dense and fibrous" continued to be used. After the prerequisite 5 minutes, another set of mammograms were taken and I returned to my clothes. Butterflies were placed over the incision along with a band-aide. After my bra was on, an ice pack was tucked in there, too. More shivering ensued! Kathryn told me no heavy lifting for 24 hrs., take lots of Ibuprophen and Tylenol for the next 24 hours. Before I left, Kathryn told me what I wanted to hear. My doctor would get THE NEWS by Wednesday of next week. It should filter down to me that day or the next. If I don't hear anything by Thursday, Dec 11, I will be on the phone to the base! The best part was the gift cards. Hey, it's still money and getting paid for necessary torture is nice. I think. The bad thing is, well you know how little things get in your brain? Well, I'd attended a Christmas party the night before. I'd showered, pulled on fresh clothes, etc for the party. The next morning at 4 a.m. I was struggling to get dressed, let alone be coherent. Without thinking I pulled on those same clothes. That includes these wonderful, thick black socks and my comfortable black leather, Berkenstock clogs. You have to wear comfortable clothes, right? :-) When I walked into the room for THE PROCEDURE, I looked down at my feet and asked if I could go back and remove my shoes and socks - knowing there was a sink with paper towels for a quick wipe down. Kathryn suggested I keep my socks on and kick my shoes off at the foot of the table. "OH NO!" The whole time I was suspended in the air I was convinced my shoes, socks and feet were killing them! There they were, working on my breast with those leather shoes and my black-clad, stinky feet a few inches away. I kept waiting for them to rush from the room trying to hold back the nausea. How embarrassing! I was mortified! Later, I realized if they smelled, it wasn't that bad. It's just funny sometimes, the way your mind latches onto the dumbest things at the stupidest times. :-)
Occasionally I bump it and I still wince a little. When you have breasts the size of Frosty's head, it's hard not to bump them! I'm going to be patient and wait for THE CALL from the base. They have my cell # and have used it on numerous occasions. For now, no news is good news as I continue to pray. If you ever want a couple $5 gift cards, I know how you can get a couple given to you. :-) Keep in mind, it ain't worth it!
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